TELE NEWS
FOX cancelled FASTLANE. Big deal! But JOHN DOE? The tears in my eyes! The tears! The season, well, series finale, wasn't all too bad, but the twist just begged for a conclusion, one we'll never get! Who the fuck is John? Whatever, Fox! Well, bad things happen and good things happen. Good thing: TWENTY-FOUR (24) will be back in the fall (Tuesdays). FOX will come out with quite a few dramas in the Fall, but expect another JOE MILLIONAIRE if I was you... then I'm not, so what now? FOX should be the network to watch!

For CBS, they'll bring back the two CSI vehicles and have a JAG spin-off (CSIS) with... John Harmon (is that his name?) Uh, good thing, THE AMAZING RACE 4 will premiere next Thursday, May 29 @ 8:30pm! YES! It's been a while since my last RACE fix, so I'm glad! BIG BROTHER 4 is likely to follow suit!

ABC cancelled some shows and is going somewhere in the Fall, but I don't know where. NBC is renewing the redundant and Rashomon-ripper BOOMTOWN, blah! The WB will bring back SMALLVILLE, too. GREAT!

HBO will premiere THE WIRE on June 1! CARNIVALE in September, I think. CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM must come back, too, so let's hope for the best. SEX IN THE CITY will also return, but since I don't follow that show, I don't know when the sex starts! In my case, I do, but not for them (LIAR!). Uh... 5.15/Hr is a pilot from Richard Linklater about a single-camera show about people living on the mimimum wage paycheck, or something -- sounds great! SIGN ME UP! SOPRANOS in January 2004, at the earliest.

Until next time, I remain... CLYNICALLY DEPRESSED OVER THE FATE OF JOHN DOE.

Source: www.thefutoncritic.com

Anyone interested in this therapeutical outlook feature is welcome to comment or apply for a staff position by e-mailing me at dennis@moviefreak.com

Good news is: Six Feet Under is back on HBO since March 3. ALI G SHOW and REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER are great late night programs (HBO). JOHN DOE and SMALLVILLE are gearing up, while 24 is on hiatus after its storyline took a dramatic turn. In other telly news, the 75th Academy Awards are coming up to take away ca. 4 hours and 11 minutes of your life on March 23, 2003. You decide how to spend that time -- watch politics or porn.